Sending out an S.O.S.

This week, I'm going to answer the question that we've been hearing a lot- a question that warms my heart and leaves me speechless- "How can I/we help?"

Talk about amazing- I am in awe of the number of people that have already helped us in a million ways, and the number of people that have offered to help us bring our baby home. Let me begin by truly, from both of us, saying THANK YOU. Thank you for the love, consideration, and compassion that you have already shown us- the smallest things can make the biggest difference, and we have been blown away. There is no doubt in our minds that we couldn't do this alone, so thank you!

Now, to actually answer the question- a few things that you can do...

Fundraising. We are trying to be really creative about how we raise this money, because it costs so. much. money. and we don't have it all. We have been saving for a while, but we definitely don't have the means to save for this whole thing right now- it would take us YEARS to come up with the money for this- I definitely didn't get into teaching for the paycheck. 

Anyways, here's how you can help with that: 

Give us your junk. Or your not-junk, that's okay too. We have already gotten many donations for stuff we will be selling on Craigslist, Ebay, and at garage sales. We'll take it all! 

Make crafty stuff. More details about this will come soon, but a friend and I are simultaneously fundraising for our adoptions, and we're planning on starting an annual craft bazaar (we're estimating in April). Ideally, we will do this every year and create a fund for others that are adopting. Any type of help would be awesome- donations, manning a table, running the cash box, etc.- whatever your skill set, we can use it. 

Airline miles. A major cost is the flight, and if you accumulate airlines miles and would be willing to donate them, let us know! In reality, there are a few airlines we could take out to Hawaii, but Alaska is the cheapest and most frequent. From Hawaii to the Marshall Islands, United seems to be the most consistent airline on that route, so miles for either of those two airlines would be awesome- it could cut down on our expenses in a major way. 

Other donations. It's awkward to talk about money (yuck), but there are also ways to just make a straight donation- we have had people give cash and use PayPal- please email me or comment if you would like to do that. It's still a little weird to me, but really, it has been super humbling how many people believe in what we're doing. 

Encouragement/Well wishes/Prayers. Whatever your fancy, it's all appreciated. We know how little we know about this- this is the steepest learning curve EVER. Not only are we figuring out how we're going to parent, we're figuring out how to raise tens of thousands of dollars, and how to approach having a transracial family, and how to navigate the waters of adoption in general- the legal process, the paperwork... whoa. I have heard from many adoptive families that these notes of encouragement got them through the process, especially in the home stretch. 

Learn about adoption. I wrote a whole paragraph and then deleted it, because it boils down to this. Not everyone is meant to adopt- that's okay. Everyone can help adoptive families, though. Please consider how you can do this in your area.

Updates!

I realize that I've already skipped a week (whoops), but I guess there's no better way to set the bar low- I have a feeling y'all are going to have to get used to me missing posts as things get busy.

Currently, we're in the middle of the fun stuff at the beginning of the home study- the paperwork (whawhawhaaa). When we're done with this chunk, we will have completed 188 pages (I'm keeping count out of morbid curiosity), and we have many, many more to go. Some of this is out of our hands- we have to wait for our FBI background checks to return, letters of recommendation from friends and family to be sent in, even a vet's note about our dogs certifying that they're disease-free and okay to be with kids. While those trickle in, we can start our education hours, and then the meetings in-home with the social worker. A friend of mine recently told me, "Appreciate this phase now- it's the only thing you can control. The rest is just waiting." We're trying to be content with this time, which isn't easy when you're 45 pages deep in the weirdest, longest personal profile you've ever filled out, but still- I'll probably beg for more paperwork when we're just waiting for our referral.

Until next week (?), thanks for your support and love!

Why the Marshall Islands?

One of the first questions people always ask is, "Why the Marshall Islands?"  ("Why adopt?" is probably the actual first question, but that's a post for another time.)  And so, in the best way I know how, I'll attempt to answer the question that may well define our family's future.

Logistically, the Marshall Islands made sense for a lot of reasons- the program is a small and short one, with infants only- two less-than-common things in international adoption. While someday we might pursue an older child, we wanted to begin as young as possible the first time around, and we were willing to wait longer, but definitely wanted to start our family sooner if possible. This specific program also requires a month-long stay in-country, and we reasoned that there may come a time (after our first child, for example) when it would not be possible for us to commit to a stay like this, so we wanted to do this while we still could.


Beyond the practical details, though, there was something much deeper. There was a time when it looked like adopting from RMI (The Republic of Marshall Islands) was going to be impossible- the waiting list was long- the original estimate was as long as 6 years before we could even START the program, and then a yearish to complete the program... it didn't seem like an option. And yet, I kept our names on the waiting list, hoping that something miraculous would change. We looked into many, many other programs, and still nothing felt right... until 9 months went by and we were invited to join the program, years before we thought we could.

Yuki's first birthday

Amaya's baptism

When we moved to Oregon, Paul became fast friends with a coworker named Kel (from Saipan), and that relationship blossomed. He and his wife Marci (from the Marshall Islands) welcomed us into their lives, and when they had their first baby, we fell in love. How could you not? Yuki was adorable, and when her birthday came up, we offered to help throw the traditionally ENORMOUS first birthday party. I mean hundreds-of-Pacific-Islanders-making-enough-food-to-feed-all-of-Portland enormous, which is a kind of enormous I hadn't ever really been exposed to or understood before. We were welcomed with open arms into their loving family and community (although you could pick our laughably pale skin out of their crowd). We also got to see something that Kel and Marci took for granted as normal- their continual openness to having people stay with them (usually family members)- despite their home being packed to the brim on occasion. We have also had a few people live with us in the past, and we try to keep our doors open for anyone that needs a home, and their giving-with-both-hands love and hospitality was (and continues to be) inspiring to us.

Amaya's first birthday

So, when their second daughter, Amaya, was born a little over a year later, we were honored to be asked to be her godparents. And since we had practice, we were involved with Amaya's first birthday too- and of course, we had a blast with Kel, Marci, the girls, and the hundreds of others that let us be a part of their lives for these special moments.


Our relationship with their family has only increased- but it's more than just them. This family that we love showed us a culture that values community and family in a way that was uniquely touching in our lives. Maybe it was the phase of life, maybe it was those precious girls... but it felt natural and special for us to want to bring our baby home from RMI.

When we first talked to Kel and Marci almost a year ago about the prospect of adopting from the Marshall Islands, they offered to help immediately, and assured us that they would do everything they could- yet again reminding us why a place we've yet to even visit has taken up such a big place in our heart.



Updates: We've begun our home study paperwork- huzzah! We have also been working on fundraising, thanks to people donating items we can sell and just plain donating- every little bit chips away at the enormous bill that comes with adoption. Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for your encouragement, blessings, prayers, well wishes, and enthusiasm- it has been such an overwhelmingly positive week! We will continue to update- love you all!

Our Adoption- Just the Beginning

I'm certain the title has given this away, but it's official- we have begun the adoption process!

We officially decided to grow our family through adoption over a year ago, but only recently did we decide to apply to a program to bring home an infant from the Marshall Islands! In the larger scheme of things, this is just the beginning, but the journey just to get to the starting line has felt like a long one, and so we are extremely thankful to be able to share this with everyone.

 Here's where we're at right now:

Short term: We have been accepted by both our local agency and our placement agency- yay! We will be beginning our home study soon, and that takes as long as we make it take- we can try to complete it quickly, or go through it as slowly as necessary. We have no intentions of moving slowly, but there are schedules and things that we have to work around. This is basically the first step after being accepted.

Long term: The program we're in is a quick one, considering the pace of most international adoptions. In theory, we could be placed with our baby within 6 months, or as late as 12 months from now, but nothing is guaranteed- we have to roll with the punches. As any adoptive family can tell you, we are learning how much goes into adopting a child in even the simplest circumstances- and there are no simple circumstances. As a result, we don't know more than we do know in some respects.

In the meantime: We are SO thankful for the love and support we have already received. We will try to update this blog weekly, posting any updates as the come up, answering any questions that come up, and giving more information about events and fundraisers that will help us bring our baby home. We love you all so very much!