Two major things have changed since our last post-
1. We submitted our dossier!
2. We were awarded another matching grant!
It's funny how quickly things can change, especially our attitudes. Last Monday I traveled down to Salem to get the state seal (kind of like notarizing our notary's signature), and Tuesday Paul dropped off our dossier- the collection of many, many pages of documents. Dossiers will vary depending on the country you're preparing them for, but ours included two matching packets- one for the US and one for RMI- that had marriage certificates, birth certificates, photos of our family and our home, medical examinations, passport photos, background checks from CA, OR, CPS, and the FBI. Despite the fact that we had already done most of the work by collecting all of this, there was something so incredible about sending it out- literally the last major thing we have to do for the time being. An enormous weight was lifted off our shoulders as that packet left our home, even though now the real waiting begins.
We also found out, amazingly, that we were awarded another matching grant by Hand in Hand Adoptions- this time for $4,000! This is obviously incredible news- if we can fundraise the 4k by October 17th, we will be awarded the additional 4k- when combined with the $2k grant from LifeSong, it means we'll be able to pay for our dossier (whew!)!!! (Side note- if you're considering adoption or currently pursuing one, I would love to share information with you, especially about grants. Just let me know.)
Paul said to me this week, "Now's the time to get this stuff done- while we've got the wind in our sails". That phrase has been stuck in my brain all week, because it totally feels like the winds have shifted. There's still a lot to do to be prepared for as many possibilities as we can be- financially, emotionally, and in our home- and we have our work cut out for us, as any expecting parents do. Life can be like that, but we're definitely glad to have the energy to keep going.
Other than the getting-ready stuff, now we wait. As long as our social worker confirms that the packets are ready to go, we're going to be on the short list for families waiting for a referral, but the average wait time is still around 7 months. Once we are matched with a child, we get to choose whether or not we accept the referral. Once we say yes, we get ready to leave! Currently, in our program, families travel appx 1 1/2 weeks after referral- which is an insanely short amount of time to spend preparing. Think about it- we won't know the gender or age of our child until 1 1/2 weeks before we meet him/her! I know that not knowing the gender isn't the end of the world, but not knowing the age is hard for me to wrap my mind around- we won't know what size diapers to buy, what types of bottles to get, or anything else like that- we will have TEN DAYS to prepare to wrap our entire lives around our baby.
We have had wonderful friends say they'd help after we left- make grocery runs and supply stops to get the pertinents, and we WILL take you all up on that… but because we will be in the country for 3-6 weeks, we will also need to be bringing 3-6 weeks worth of baby stuff with us to RMI, so we will obviously need that beforehand. Crazy!
In the meantime, we're currently not running any fundraisers because we are both still getting adjusted to our new work routines, and frankly, I don't even know where we'd start in the next four weeks. However, we will be trying to run them soon, so we will let you know when there's new information (about fundraisers or the adoption itself). If you're interested in contributing to our fundraising efforts, please let me know- we appreciate you all so very much!
I know that this post comes with a different attitude than last week's, and frankly, I'm grateful for it. I hate for my emotions to be strung so closely to our circumstances, but it is a relief to feel the weight of the past few months lifted off of us. The wind really is in our sails now, in large part due to those of you that kept us going through those rough months. Thank you for being so loving and supportive- we love you all!
9/13/2014
9/04/2014
Behind the Scenes
Hey all,
I need to apologize for the length of time between posts- 2 1/2 months is ridiculous, and I'm sorry.
I have often told my students to never compare their behind-the-scenes footage to someone else's highlight reel. Generally speaking, we get to see others at their best, with the face they put on when they leave the house, or hear their carefully chosen words. It's incredibly easy to be discouraged by this, because our own lives can be ugly and raw, and they feel absolutely nothing like other peoples' lives, which seem so "perfect", or at least "better". We all know, obviously, that everyone has struggles, but they're vague and easy to dismiss; we look at their highlight reel- the stuff they share on Facebook, the stories they tell when the family gets together on Christmas- and then think so much about our own junk that we miss the bigger picture in both our lives and theirs.
I wanted badly to be authentic when speaking about the adoption of our child because we knew it would be hard. We knew we would be sad, and tired, and also fortunate, and loved beyond our wildest dreams, and that all of these factors would make it real. The adoption blogs that spoke about infertility issues and loss and heartache quenched by soul when I needed it the most, and I wanted to add to their number. I wanted to faithfully represent our adoption because we so wanted this to be about more than our family, and it isn't all cute and flowery stuff.
Somewhere along the line, I stopped taking my own advice.
When week after week passed with no news, I figured no one wanted to hear me complain about Department of Homeland Security taking a million years to process our info.
When our first grant application was turned down, I decided not to blog until we had good news.
When I ended up having no time this summer to prepare the nursery like I had anticipated, I thought it would be better to wait to share photos until the nursery was done.
When we finally got our papers all in order and didn't hear back from our program coordinator immediately, I assumed we should wait another week to post, because hey, next week we'll have ACTUAL news, right?
So, I'm going to call all of that the blooper reel. It's the behind-the-scenes, I-can't-believe-I-did-that footage, and we're sharing it with all of you because it seems to be a pretty big theme in adoptions, we're learning. This whole process, including bloopers, is what is building our family and I'm sorry I've been terrible about sharing- I will try to be better. I will also try to not complain too much about these things, because this isn't a pity party, and I don't want to complain about my first world problems when my child is currently parentless… but there should be a balance. Highlights AND bloopers.
That said, here's the skinny. We are hoping to complete our dossier soon, and we will update when that time comes. However, in the meantime, there have been some non-adoption highlights that we'll share, because the good stuff has been pretty darn great.
First of all, I'm starting a new position at my work- I'm the new library media teacher! I am fortunate to be helping to build a library at my school, and we're in the beginning stages, but really- it's my dream. My uncle said to me over the weekend, "Wait, you're practically Belle, and they're letting you build a library? Are they crazy?" We might be crazy, but I am ecstatic to be working on this.
Secondly, Paul is starting a new position at a new branch, and we think it's going to be an awesome thing, but it has definitely been hectic, and he's still learning the ropes, to say the least. This position gives him more potential for growth in the future, which is encouraging, though not something he's planning on pursuing until after we get home with Baby J (since it would suck to go out for a paternity leave right after starting a new position). It's a good thing we're getting some of these changes out of the way now!
Thirdly, we got to celebrate two weddings this weekend- one for a dear friend (that I'm so crazy ridiculously excited for) and one for my little sister Kelsie! We spent 31 hours in the fastest trip ever, but we were so thankful to get to share in Kelsie and her husband, Dan's, wedding day!!! We got to see family and friends in a small and truly special ceremony. They were both beautiful and happy and wonderful- it was such a great way to end the summer and celebrate families joining. A lot of my family that was there isn't even blood related, and I was so happy to be reminded that family is created through love, not blood- now something that's even more encouraging as an adoptive mom-to-be.
Lastly (?), we were awarded a matching grant! After the first sad response, we were awarded a $2,000 matching grant through LifeSong for Orphans, which means that they'll match up to $2k in donations until October 29th. If you're interested in supporting us this way, please let me know- any support would count for double! This was especially wonderful to hear because we have an ENORMOUS bill coming up when we submit the dossier.
So there you have it- behind-the-scenes. Some of it's on the blooper reel, and some of it is the highlight of the summer, but it's all a part of the bigger picture. Thanks for bearing with us as we figure out how to be transparent without being grumpy and cynical while we wait. We love you all, and thank you for your support!
I need to apologize for the length of time between posts- 2 1/2 months is ridiculous, and I'm sorry.
I have often told my students to never compare their behind-the-scenes footage to someone else's highlight reel. Generally speaking, we get to see others at their best, with the face they put on when they leave the house, or hear their carefully chosen words. It's incredibly easy to be discouraged by this, because our own lives can be ugly and raw, and they feel absolutely nothing like other peoples' lives, which seem so "perfect", or at least "better". We all know, obviously, that everyone has struggles, but they're vague and easy to dismiss; we look at their highlight reel- the stuff they share on Facebook, the stories they tell when the family gets together on Christmas- and then think so much about our own junk that we miss the bigger picture in both our lives and theirs.
I wanted badly to be authentic when speaking about the adoption of our child because we knew it would be hard. We knew we would be sad, and tired, and also fortunate, and loved beyond our wildest dreams, and that all of these factors would make it real. The adoption blogs that spoke about infertility issues and loss and heartache quenched by soul when I needed it the most, and I wanted to add to their number. I wanted to faithfully represent our adoption because we so wanted this to be about more than our family, and it isn't all cute and flowery stuff.
Somewhere along the line, I stopped taking my own advice.
When week after week passed with no news, I figured no one wanted to hear me complain about Department of Homeland Security taking a million years to process our info.
When our first grant application was turned down, I decided not to blog until we had good news.
When I ended up having no time this summer to prepare the nursery like I had anticipated, I thought it would be better to wait to share photos until the nursery was done.
When we finally got our papers all in order and didn't hear back from our program coordinator immediately, I assumed we should wait another week to post, because hey, next week we'll have ACTUAL news, right?
So, I'm going to call all of that the blooper reel. It's the behind-the-scenes, I-can't-believe-I-did-that footage, and we're sharing it with all of you because it seems to be a pretty big theme in adoptions, we're learning. This whole process, including bloopers, is what is building our family and I'm sorry I've been terrible about sharing- I will try to be better. I will also try to not complain too much about these things, because this isn't a pity party, and I don't want to complain about my first world problems when my child is currently parentless… but there should be a balance. Highlights AND bloopers.
That said, here's the skinny. We are hoping to complete our dossier soon, and we will update when that time comes. However, in the meantime, there have been some non-adoption highlights that we'll share, because the good stuff has been pretty darn great.
First of all, I'm starting a new position at my work- I'm the new library media teacher! I am fortunate to be helping to build a library at my school, and we're in the beginning stages, but really- it's my dream. My uncle said to me over the weekend, "Wait, you're practically Belle, and they're letting you build a library? Are they crazy?" We might be crazy, but I am ecstatic to be working on this.
Secondly, Paul is starting a new position at a new branch, and we think it's going to be an awesome thing, but it has definitely been hectic, and he's still learning the ropes, to say the least. This position gives him more potential for growth in the future, which is encouraging, though not something he's planning on pursuing until after we get home with Baby J (since it would suck to go out for a paternity leave right after starting a new position). It's a good thing we're getting some of these changes out of the way now!
Thirdly, we got to celebrate two weddings this weekend- one for a dear friend (that I'm so crazy ridiculously excited for) and one for my little sister Kelsie! We spent 31 hours in the fastest trip ever, but we were so thankful to get to share in Kelsie and her husband, Dan's, wedding day!!! We got to see family and friends in a small and truly special ceremony. They were both beautiful and happy and wonderful- it was such a great way to end the summer and celebrate families joining. A lot of my family that was there isn't even blood related, and I was so happy to be reminded that family is created through love, not blood- now something that's even more encouraging as an adoptive mom-to-be.Lastly (?), we were awarded a matching grant! After the first sad response, we were awarded a $2,000 matching grant through LifeSong for Orphans, which means that they'll match up to $2k in donations until October 29th. If you're interested in supporting us this way, please let me know- any support would count for double! This was especially wonderful to hear because we have an ENORMOUS bill coming up when we submit the dossier.
So there you have it- behind-the-scenes. Some of it's on the blooper reel, and some of it is the highlight of the summer, but it's all a part of the bigger picture. Thanks for bearing with us as we figure out how to be transparent without being grumpy and cynical while we wait. We love you all, and thank you for your support!
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