Hello, Goodbye

When we first started the adoption journey, we spent a lot of time figuring out where we thought we belonged in the scheme of things, and I think we chose well given our circumstances at the time. It was important to us that we find a place we were connected with that had younger children, and we appreciated that it was a short(er) program. We appreciated that Marshallese culture has a broad and inclusive view of family, and we were thankful to be with a wonderful agency that was trying to help RMI heal from inappropriate adoptions a couple of decades ago by upholding impeccable adoption practices.

As you know, things changed. The program slowed down for reasons that still aren't totally clear, and we began fostering Damien and Rayden because they were in need right in front of us. We don't know if we would have ended up being matched with a child during that time if we had NOT fostered them, but we have never second-guessed that decision.

People have asked what our intentions were as the boys grew- would we stay in the RMI program? We had hoped to, although we had no immediate plans because we obviously have a newborn at home... but now the answer is clear. The Marshallese adoption program has closed, and we are no longer an active family. 

Obviously we have conflicting feelings about this- failed adoptions are no joke.  We believe strongly that this was a path we were meant to be on regardless of its outcome, because it opened us up to having the boys, it helped us spread more information about adoption, we had a valid home study that made becoming foster parents easier (and helped show the boys' adoption committee that we really wanted to adopt, and we weren't trying to backdoor adopt D and R)... it was the right choice for us in the moment, even if it didn't move forward as we had hoped. We are sad, and I struggle with feeling like there's something still missing, but we'll work through that.

We are thrilled to be able to continue supporting other adoptions and DHS, and I'll probably write more about that later.  In the meantime, enjoy some pictures :) We love you all, and appreciate your support.