Are you Ready?

Alright, big announcement (no I'm not pregnant), and it actually doesn't really have to do with the Marshall Islands, but I will eventually cover that as well.  But first, I'm going to subject you to my musings, so best of luck getting through this. :)

Lately, I've been thinking about the question, "Are you ready?"  If we answered truthfully, the response should always be no. I think most people are actually asking, "Are you ready enough?"  Ready enough to try? Ready enough to be successful? Ready enough to be confident?  Ready enough for the effort to be worth it? I think we're never quite ready for the many adventures we end up on, but we might be ready enough.

Way back when, a wise friend told Paul that he was overthinking having kids- that we would never, ever, be totally ready. She was right, of course.

In my last post (7 months ago- yikes!), I wrote about the things that we were doing to cope with the waiting.  To be clear, we ARE STILL WAITING for a referral from the Marshall Islands- but more on that in a bit.

One thing I mentioned was that we had been watching our friends' kiddos- their two daughters and two foster sons- to give them a break every couple of weeks, because oh man, four kids!  We began that just to help them out, and perhaps to teach Paul how to change a diaper :) . Surprisingly, we fell head over heels in love and everything began to change.  Their two foster sons were almost-2-years-old and 3 months old when we met them, and what they were going through was hitting a lot closer to home than we realized it would.  We began watching them more often, and then in May, we officially became their foster parents.

So, to answer questions:

• Yes, we would like to adopt them. They are adoptable currently, although family is the first step always, and even if no family members were available or willing, we might not be the first choice. 
• Yes, that seems crazy to us too. When I told a friend this, she said, "Wow… so are you ready to have your heart broken?" Well… no… but I'm ready enough to make it worth the effort and risk.  We are just trying to do right by these kids, and we would love to be lucky enough to get to do that for the rest of their lives, but we'll give them what we can while we can.  If that is just a loving home until they are moved elsewhere, we are trying to be okay with that. 
• No, we don't have a timeline. DHS is crazy crazy slow and frustrating, but from what we hear, this case is actually moving along faster than most do. We should have a committee date sometime soon, like within the next month or two, which will tell us whether or not we will prep our own homestudy or prep the boys for another adoptive home.
• No, we can't post pictures or their information. Sorry!  Their identities are not ours to share. Legally. They're super cute though, so if we ever get the opportunity… prepare for your newsfeed to be shut down with all those pics I'm posting.
• The oldest just turned 3, the youngest is 1. 
• Our friends, their previous foster parents, are the most incredible people. They're family in every non-biological way, and I cannot say enough how thankful we are that they said yes to these boys.  They showed love and grace and compassion that I can't imagine on my best day, much less with two kids that have lived through trauma and 3 kids under 3 years old in the house. (Seriously, they did that. This new pope seems pretty cool- anyone have an in with him so I can apply them for sainthood?)  They still watch the boys and love them as their own, and I'm sure that when the next kid is brought to them needing a roof and love, they will give that child everything too. 
• Yes, we've had them full-time since May, and no, we didn't tell everyone. Sorry.
• This was for various reasons- firstly, May is not an easy month to be a teacher, and I was overwhelmed, to say the least.  Again came that infamous question, "Are you ready?" HA! We certainly tried to be.   
• Second reason is that we can't post their info, so I was trying to find a delicate way to write, and it took me a while to actually put words to this.
• Third reason… we have a 3 year old. 
• Fourth reason… we have a 1 year old. 
• Fifth reason- it's been emotional. Posting it makes it real, and the more people that know, the more people we have to tell if they go to another home. 
• YES, we are ABSOLUTELY still pursuing an adoption from the Marshall Islands.  We still feel  like this is an important and necessary path for us to be on, but we took a rabbit trail along the way. As you have no doubt noticed, the adoption process has slowed for this program. We have some information as to why, but nothing definitive. We have to update our home study as foster parents, and we will have to update if we are able to adopt the boys, so our Marshallese adoption will have to be paused if we are fortunate enough to need to wait for the boys' visas and whatnot. 
• No news isn't good news, or bad news- with DHS, it's probably just no news. We will update when there is info to update on.

As always, we love you all and we are SO thankful for your support. We have been shown more grace and compassion than e ever dreamed possible as we transition to parenthood. We could not ever ever ever have done it without you all.